5 THINGS

5 THINGS THAT MAKE ME WHO I AM 

 

(VOL 1.)

Hi babes. Let me first say THANK YOU. The love on that last post was enough to melt our president's cold, cold heart. Seriously. You guys don't know what it means to me. I'm trying to get back to all of you, and I love hearing your feedback so thank you!!! I wish there were enough exclamation points in the world to accurately describe the happiness I've felt from the support you guys have shown me. 

I have a lot of new faces to my little corner on the internet, and my faaaavorite thing about blogging and Instagram, and all that is getting to know people. Not your favorite color, not your favorite Jonas Brother, but the good stuff. The stuff you keep off your tinder profile. So, I'm gonna start. Every month, or just whenever I feel like it, I'll just feed you guys 5 random facts about me. Sometimes they'll be short statements, like "I love dinosaurs." and that will be that. And sometimes, we'll go into stories, and experiences and embarrassing photos of Facebook's past. And each time I want you to comment 5 random facts about yourself. Deal??? K let's do this.

1. I love rap music. Like way more than a skinny white girl from Utah County should ever love rap music. I want to think it's always been apart of me. I got my sense of rhythm from my dad at an early age and ever since I can remember I've always had a thing for a dope na$$$ty BEAT. However, I fought those natural gangster feelings, because as a young innocent child, I was conditioned to believe rap music was of the devil.

I vividly remember sitting at the bottom of the stairs as my older brother Jake would listen to Tupac while he did his homework. I had a pen and a paper and I would count the songs profanities, and show the evidence to my mom. (tattletale was my side hustle.) But one day, he was watching this Snoop Dogg freestyle. He was doing an Eazy E diss on the Arsenio Hall show. Watching him, watch this, I lost my train of thought. I lost track of the swear words, because I was too busy tapping my foot to the beat. What was this FEELING? What was happening to me?!?!? I'll tell you what was happening. I WAS FALLING IN LOVE. After a few days of this, I finally asked my older brother to educate me. He introduced me to Kanye West, and I was a goner. Goodbye innocence.

 11 years old, and I could spit every verse to "Gangsta Gangsta" by NWA.

It's just love for me. Most teenage girls romanticize driving through the canyon on a rainy day, drinking hot chocolate. I'm the same. Except instead of listening to Bon Iver, it's Fetty Wap.

My hip hop knowledge is vast, but just to warn you,  It's a skill that takes awhile for me to be comfortable enough to show. You have to be a level 7 friend to unlock that privilege. 

2. I'm a BOSS. A straight up bonafide hustler. And it all started at age six, when I combined my skills of manipulation and being utterly adorable, and scammed all of Canberra Heights out of their pocket change.

I knew early on that lemonade stands were a complete joke. Right? They just didn't work. I tried them for awhile, and even dabbled in garage sales for a minute, but after realizing no one wanted to buy my jacuzzi temperature Kool Aid, OR my old barbies, I had to set off on a new business venture. I took my little red wagon, and my abnormally cute 3 year old brother, and we went and sold lemonade. Door. To. Door. 

We DID THAT.

See I know how it is. It's easy to drive past a lemonade stand. Avoid eye contact. Justify your heartlessness. "I'm in a hurry" "I don't have change."

A little bit harder to say no to this duo, standing at your door, telling you they need money for food because our mom forgot to feed us, right?

my proudest achievement to date.

3. I'm fascinated by my fears. for example, I am absolutely terrified of the ocean. TERRIFIED. I have recurring nightmares of being stranded on a rock in the middle of the sea, where a hungry great white shark is just waiting patiently to devour me. It's crazy scary. Someone should make a movie about it. Call Blake Lively or something. Anyway, for whatever reason I also think sharks are so dope, and I know everything about them.

Same thing with planes. I HATE planes. Every time, while boarding, I sit and size up the other passengers, making mental notes of who would outlast the others. Because when the plane goes down, AND IT WILL, I need allies. Due of this irrational fear of mine, I've taken it upon myself to learn just about everything to know about planes. Also, I force myself to get on one every couple weeks. It's a healthy relationship.

So, for whatever reason, this is how I handle most things I'm afraid of. I take my fear, acknowledge it, and become an expert on the subject by watching every documentary Netflix has to offer. Serial killers, earthquakes, snakes, bikram yoga. (if bikram yoga doesn't scare you, then you are a much better person than I am and let's be best friends)

4. I wanted to be famous. Like, really, really bad. Growing up, most kids wanted to be doctors, professional athletes, veterinarians or moms. But year after year, I wrote "Famous."  Just, "famous" hahaha. I was certain of it. In second grade, I filled out a paper we were doing for school, and the last question said, "If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?" And my answer was, "That I'm not famous." And that just honestly explains it all. The problem is, fame usually requires talent. Something I lacked. As a three year old, Britney Spears was my savior and queen and I worshipped the ground she walked on. I wanted to be her. But I realized there was strength in numbers, so I did the rounds with the whole band thing. I started a girl group in elementary school called "Pink Star." And It would have been a hit too, if Angela actually put her heart and soul into it like I told her to. It was around this time, that Hannah Montana came onto the scene. My kindred spirit. I was halfway through my powerpoint of convincing my parents to buy me a blonde wig and move our family out to Hollywood, when my mom suggested I just sing one of her songs at our school talent show. BRILLIANT. 

Needless to say, this performance helped me realize I was tone deaf. Thanks mom!!!! Realizing this, was a step in the right direction however. it needed to happen. the singing thing was just holding me back. At this point though, I needed to hurry and find something else. Fast. Kids around me were getting famous by the minute. I mean, Selena Gomez knew how to do MAGIC.

I thought about acting, but came to the conclusion that I laugh too much at inappropriate moments to ever survive in that industry. Modeling was out of the question. As if I had the collar bones for that, HA. I wasn't blessed with natural coordination so the olympics we're also out. And it was hard on me. It wore me down. My self confidence wavered. All these years and years of crossing ideas off the list, throwing acceptance speeches into the trash, practicing my autograph, all for nothing. 

Then. it came to me.

All at once I realized, what I was destined for all along. 

My ticket to fame. The one surefire way to make it big, requiring absolutely no talent or skill.

THE BACHELOR. 

Catch me on your TV screens in 2021.

5. I'm overly sentimental with people. I'm a tender soul as it is, but when you add people to the mix, I'm a puddle of tears. Last summer, me and my friend Sahalie went to California on a whim and our plans fell through and we needed a place to stay. In one of the funniest, most awkward turn of events, we ended up staying at her ex boyfriends family's house. For a week!! I can't even make this stuff up. They had a huge family, 6 kids, in a little condo but they opened their house to us, and gave us whatever we needed. In that week, I grew to LOVE this family like my own. Ex boyfriend and all. I cried in the car ride to the airport, just being so grateful for this little family and the kindness they showed to us. This was a year ago, I spent only a couple days with them, but I still think of them all the time and talk to them often. I just love people. And I get SO. DANG. SENTIMENTAL. ABOUT IT!

Another example you can probably relate to, are the people you'd meet in school. I used to cry on the last day of school every year. Sob into my mother's lap, being so aware at such a young age that things were going to be different now. Specifically, I won't have the same friends, the same teacher. I've always been like that. My favorite people in the WORLD were the kids you'd meet in high school, in a random class that you had no friends in, maybe you sat by each other or were partners on a project. You had hardly anything in common, and wouldn't necessarily run in the same circles outside of U.S. History, but man. These were your BUDDIES. I'm not kidding when I say, I STILL get emotional about these pure little friendships.

I think about this kid Matt, from my drama class in tenth grade. This kid was without a doubt the weirdest soul I have ever met to this day. We seriously had nothing in common. He loved his gameboy, he talked in a fake Irish accent at all times, and he hated almost everything in this world. But I loved him. Like I actually loved him. I used to drive him home from school every day, and I remember dropping him off on the last day of my senior year, and just sobbing. He was so annoyed and uncomfortable, and probably doesn't ever give me a second thought, but I was like "WE'RE PROBABLY NEVER GOING TO SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN!!!! THIS IS SAD!!!" It's those little friendships that mean everything to me.

Also for the record, I never saw him again. But I would really like to hope he's somewhere in Ireland, playing his gameboy and laughing at the misfortune of others. 

 

THANKS FOR READING I LOVE YOU GUYS. ALSO. EUROPE BLOG POST? SUNDAY? U DOWN? MAYBE? STAY TUNED. LOVE U BYE